• What Do You If Your Habits Suck?

    You had every intention of starting this year by developing good habits. No, not just good habits, the best habits. But instead we sleep in, check our email in bed, and have “just one more.” You get frustrated and you say "this habits stuff suck!" So, how do we start breaking bad habits and start making good daily habits? Isn’t there a simple three-step plan or a good habits list that will set me free?

    Not really. But there are tools and there is hope! Just like dominoes, there are lots of tiny, daily, doable steps that make a huge difference.

    So What Do You If Your Habits Suck?

    Well, let’s answer that question with the acronym – H.A.B.I.T.S.

    Healthy Identity

    Ask yourself – what is the “soundtrack” I play about myself? Do I tell myself I can, or I can’t. Do I tell myself I will or I won’t? Many habits that suck are there to cover or cope with something unhealthy in your identity. Alcoholism, comfort eating, and even bingeing on entertainment is often a way to cope with something deeper. As you begin to break a bad habit and replace it with a good one, it’s time also to open up about pain, confusion, or anger with people you trust. I often say, “When you know who you are, you’ll know what you do.”

    Ask for Help

    You’ll have no problem keeping your bad habit on your own; breaking it is going to require others.  I like to say "you can not read the label when you are in the jar".  We all need perspective and that often comes from others. Ask some close friends, family, or even coworkers you trust to check in with you and ask you how you’re doing. Accountability is key to removing habits that suck. Maybe you need to join a group or individual coaching, encouragement is vital too. A good rule of thumb is: The more personally destructive the habit, the more people you’ll need help from.

    Be Kind to Yourself

    Making good daily habits is not a perfection zone. On the day that you slip up, be kind to yourself. Don’t give into negative self-talk and self-hatred. (Remember that soundtrack)  Think of it as an opportunity for growth, deeper healing, and another chance to reinforce a good daily habit that stands up to all sorts of difficulty. Just like when you get a cold and your immune system gets stronger, this is an opportunity for the self-control to grow and get stronger.

    Investigate and Make Changes

    Maybe the old habit just won’t give and the new one just won’t set in. It’s time to investigate and make changes. Remember to keep being kind to yourself and asking for help through this process. As you investigate, you might not have any changes to make just yet. Don’t change what’s working. Do keep repeating what is! Only make changes to your new habits that propel you toward health, growth, and a meaningful life connected to others. This approach also helps you to tackle and push beyond procrastination.

    Trust the Process

    Habits tend to get a bad rap, but they’re actually a process. You should trust the process of working something new and beautiful in your life as you discover healthy identity, ask for help, be kind to yourself, investigate, and trust process. Processes like developing good daily habits take time, take effort and require patience.

    Small Wins Every Day

    In his book Atomic Habits James Clear argues relentlessly for the power of small, daily wins. He challenges us to become one percent better each day. If you want to run a marathon one day, create an identity goal to enjoy running and a small keystone habit of running at least one minute each day for the first week of your habit. Make your new habit easy and obvious. Allow yourself to grow in strength and discipline incrementally—one day at a time.

    Above all remember this  … “Small disciplines done consistently lead to big results over time.”

    If your habits suck then strive for a small discipline. If you do not feel able to instil habit, then choose a discipline. For example

    I do not feel able to instill the habit of running in the morning. Choose the discipline of some form of exercise at some point in the day. Start with that. Be faithful to that. Embrace that. That discipline in time will produce a habit (and it won’t suck). This approach is very similar to one that James Clear calls "The Paper Clip Strategy" - check it out here 

    As 2023 begins - if we can help you here at Phoenix Life Coaching Canada to develop long-term solutions and drive your personal success and professional success - do not hesitate to Contact us

    One of the ways we do that is with Full Service Coaching – which gives you not only one to one coaching with me, but also access to our #Makeitso Platform with over 100 tools, articles, masterminds and resources to help you, free access (including unlimited replays) to our Group Coaching Masterminds and lets you be part of our Facebook Group as well as so many other features including tools like our #Makeitso Journal, some of our 23 Books for 2023, our Summit in the Spring and so much more.

    Do not hesitate to Contact us

    Go ahead and take a listen to this Podcast Episode - it will give re enforce some of the points in this post and also give you much more insight into Habits themselves.

    Let’s get after it - #makeitso


  • I bet you’re in one of these 3 groups…

    January is already halfway over, so I wanted to check in on you.

    How are the goals and habits you started at the beginning of the month going?

    I’m guessing you fall into one of three categories…

    You’re still crushing them and going strong, but you could use some encouragement to keep it up.

    You’re a little less consistent than you were the first few days, but you’re still making progress.

    You’ve already decided to try again next year.

    No matter which group you’re in, I’ve got something that’s going to encourage you and slingshot you to the finish line.

    Can I suggest participating in our 5 Week Leadership Challenge.

    What do you get:

    Daily short Podcast send to your inbox (listen to at your pace).

    Daily PDF worksheets to focus on and work at your pace (syncs with Podcast).

    Two Zoom sessions during the 5 Weeks (and a replay link)

    Lots of knowledge and tons of growth!

    By the end of the challenge you will have expanded tools in 5 areas of your life.

    Discounted opportunity to attend (if you wish) #Makeitso Summitt in Spring 2023

    You get to be part of a community that wants to grow in 2023 because Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone.

    Sign up Here.

    Alright - let’s get after it - let’s #Makeitso

    Frank

    p.s. - everyone is a leader: in the office, the factory, on the job site, and in our homes and we all need to grow as leaders… so yes this is for you!

    BTW - P.S. - Did you listen our latest  episode of the "You Can Make It So Podcast"? Click here for the link to 2023 so far


  • Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone!

    I have never had the height, or to be honest the skill, to be good at Basketball. I do however love the game. The action, the energy are engaging, but so too are the personalities involved. Names like Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Steph Curry, Larry Bird and even Denis Rodman are household names. This is why an interview with another NBA Superstar, Shaquille O’Neal, caught my eye recently. However it was not because of his basketball skill that it struck me, it was because in it, he described some of the keys to his business success.

    He told the story of getting his first $1 million signing bonus and feeling like he had “made it”. As a result, he quickly bought himself a 150-thousand-dollar Mercedes. He drove it home proudly to show it off. His father asked, “That’s great, son. What about mine?” Feeling humbled, Shaq and his father returned to the dealership and bought another Mercedes of a similar price. Sure enough, Dad thought Shaq should also get one for his mother. So, he did, although it was admittedly—slightly less, at roughly $100 thousand. Within days, Shaq also wrote a $20,000 check for a one-year lease on a penthouse apartment in the city of his new team.

    It wasn’t long before a family friend and banker, who knew Shaq and his family well, asked Shaq to come in for a sit-down. The banker thanked Shaq for the confidence demonstrated by depositing his signing bonus. Then he went on to point out to Shaq that, having spent over $400 thousand of that first $1 million in a matter of days. This meant Shaq was effectively broke. Shaq was unaware of the taxes associated with such wealth. That the $1 million that came in was only about $600 thousand after taxes. Shaq was crushed—but determined.

    It was at that moment, being crushed that he knew he needed help around him, or he would wind up like the 60 percent of professional athletes who end their careers broke. Today, Shaq’s published net worth is roughly $400 million.

    John Maxwell often says you tend to make a change when you are "hurt enough you have you, see enough you are inspired to, learn enough you want to, or receive enough you are able to."  Shaquille O’Neal would probaably admit (though I have not asked him) that he was "hurt enough". 

    There is much more to Shaquille O’Neal’s great story. but to fast forward us, he embraked about a knowledge journey that led him to financial security through many celebrity endorsements and commercials (Icy Hot, The General Insurance, Burger King, and Pepsi, to name a few). How did Shaq learn to embrace this path? He sought help.

    I couldn’t help but think of the similarities with most great leader and their success: knowledge and commitment.

    It’s the knowledge part that tends to trip us up. Primarily, this is because we have a hard time acknowledging our knowledge gaps. Shaq learned early because of a trusted ally. The banker told it to him straight and painted a very clear picture of the broke version of Shaq that poor decisions would lead to.

    This past month I did one of my quarterly in person visits with the half dozen businesses I connect with as a consultant on a weekly basis with. One of them, who I have been working with for 3 year now, prudently has now broken the small business size barrier. Over the year, their growth has been impressive. I still remember the first session we had together – I simply said “ok, go ahead ask me anything”. We have not stopped. Every week this business owner shows up (commitment) and he puts on the table his wins, woes and wants and then comes the questions (knowledge).  

    Asking the important questions

    Just like Shaq, being willing to ask the questions is where it begins. Are there questions you wonder about your business but don’t seem to have the right opportunity to ask an expert in a safe setting?

    How long will those questions linger?

    What may be perplexing or nagging to you might be apparent to an expert. But you have to reach for that tool.

    Ask yourself three questions about your business or your present role:

    What could move the revenue needle within the next quarter?

    Have I set the right conditions for that personal growth or business movement to happen?

    Do I really know what conditions must be set?

    If there was any uncertainty about any of questions then let me add one more question - who’s your equivalent to Shaq’s banker?

    Now, as you answer that, the easiest path might be that you will turn to someone in your immediate network. A friend, realtive, uncle or family member who you see further ahead than you are. Well, that might be the easy choice, but likely not the best choice. If you have a nagging question about moving your business, or your own personal, success forward within the next quarter, send me an email. It is very likely that I have seen your situation before and can offer the counsel you have not heard elsewhere.

    In most cases, my responses will be succinct and straightforward. I am not "sales orientated, I am success focussed". Drawing on my decades of experience and associated expertise, I could quickly connect the dots and identify viable options in front of them. 

    This is why I encourage you to consider Full Service Coaching for 2023. We all need someone to be the equivalent to Shq's banker, and all the services provided in Full Service Coaching gives you that - check out the details of it here . Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone.

    Let us start living in a way today that will help you to Thrive tomorrow.

    Alright - let’s get after it - let’s #Makeitso

    Frank

    P.S. -  I’m hosting a Leadership Challenge  starting in January 15th(but you can join at any point)

    The Leadership Challenge provides the same training value as an intensive 3-day workshop series of sessions, but allows you to absorb the content in micro-bursts of 10-15 minutes per day for 35 days — all on your schedule. Each day you receive a daily email with a link to a short message and to a simple worksheet. You tackle it when you can each day. I will bring the circle, you bring the resolve.  Sign up here today


  • Who is in Your Circle ?

    Welcome to 2023.  January 1 is synonymous with a fresh start, a blank slate. I don’t want to bum you out on as the year starts fresh, but here’s the reality… According to the University of Scranton, 92% of New Year’s Resolutions fail. Those odds are not in your favor. They’re pretty abysmal, actually. Why is that?

    It’s because most people set an intention, but they don’t resolve. When we’re resolved, that means we’ll do whatever it takes to meet our goals. We’ll wake up early, stay up late, push through obstacles, and defy all odds to make it happen.

    All the drive in the world will eventually give out, because you can only push for so long. But when you incorporate a strong enough reason why, and strategy into meeting your goals, and most of all establishing your habits - that’s when results show up.

    But here’s the good news:

    You can beat the odds. You can be in the 8% that achieve their goals by asking one question - Who is in your Circle?

    Take a moment and think about all the people you have in your circle. Whether it’s through your business, work, family, community...

    Be honest, how many of them are operating at a higher level than you?

    The truth is, you want to surround yourself with people who are out of your league.

    If you’re playing a sport, and you play against people that are all worse than you are, are you going to get better? The same applies in all areas of life.

    Everyone, including top athletes and Fortune 500 business owners, need people in our circle that grant us perspective. They give us sage wisdom and insights. And they give us the gift of anticipation of the road ahead.

    When you surround yourself with the right people it’s easy to answer the call when opportunity comes knocking. Because chances are you’ll have a relationship with just the right investment banker, PR expert, or designer to get your idea off the ground.

    So, let me ask again, what does your current peer group - your circle - look like?

    What might 2023 look like if you expanded your circle?

    Can I suggest two things? 

    1. Leadership Challenge

    I’m hosting a Leadership Challenge  starting in January 15th(but you can join at any point)

    TheLeadership Challenge provides the same training value as an intensive 3-day workshop series of sessions, but allows you to absorb the content in micro-bursts of 10-15 minutes per day for 35 days — all on your schedule. Each day you receive a daily email with a link to a short message and to a simple worksheet. You tackle it when you can each day. I will bring the circle, you bring the resolve.

    I have done this challenge for large groups in the past and I believe the insights you gain from this challenge will help propel you to the next phase of your personal and professional leadership journey and beyond.

    We will talk about

    Gaining Perspective (Clarity, Engaging and Thinking Differently)

    Discovering Purpose (Purpose, Problems, Passion)

    Determining Priorities (Strategy and Momentum)

    Creating Plans (Ownership and Openness)

    Inspiring Performance (Addressing Elephants)

    We will envision 2023 together and #makeitso. Get more details here and sign up today

    2. Full Service Coaching 

    With Full Service Coaching you not only get sage advice, perspective, and insight through direct live one to one coaching upto 4 times per month with me, but also access to our #Makeitso Platform with over 100 tools, articles, masterminds and resources to help you. And being a Full Service Coaching Client also gives you free access (including unlimited replays) to our Group Coaching Masterminds and lets you be part of our Facebook Group. You also have access to our 23 Books for 2023, our annual Summit, and so much more!

    In short - Full Service Coaching expands your circle - gives you Proximity - and Proximity is Power! I will bring the circle, you bring the resolve. Full Service Coaching really does set you up for success and lead you start living in a way today that will help you Thrive tomorrow.  Contact us today.

    As 2023 begins - If we can help you here at Phoenix Life Coaching Canada develop long-term solutions to drive personal success, help you through personal transitions or permit business success, determine your WHY and lay a personal or professional foundation for a better tomorrow, do not hesitate. Contact us today 

    Alright - let’s get after it - let’s #Makeitso

    Frank

    P.S. - Check out 1st episode of the "You Can Make It So Podcast" for 2023, we take a look at "The Days after perfect" - Go Ahead - take a listen here 


  • The "perfect" year

    As we approach the beginning of a New Year we yearn for it to be fresh and crisp, and maybe even perfect! Someone once gave this as the definition of what was a Perfect World! (I regret I do not know the source of it):

    In a Perfect World - a person should feel as good at 50 as he did at 17, and he would actually be as smart at 50 as he thought he was at 17.

    In a Perfect World - the mail would always be early, the check would always be in the mail, and it would be written for more than you expected.

    In a Perfect World - every once in a while at least, every child would know the embrace of a hug, the confidence that they are cared about, the serenity of knowing they always have what they need.

    In a Perfect World - potato chips might have calories, but if you ate them with dip, the calories would be neutralized.

    I believe that as we begin this New Year together - we all long for a perfect world - or for a world that is at least a little better.

    This pursuit allow us, as a New Year approaches, the chance to look back. To “check things out” and review our Wins, Woes and Wants of the past 12 months. It gives us the chance to reflect in our lives and see what obstacles exist which prevent us from being our best selves. What hurdles are in our lives which stop us from experiencing true joy? What thorn might still be present which stops us from completely living in a way today that will help us to thrive tomorrow?

    Here are a few tasks that will help you gain clarity on the past year and prepare for the New Year.

    Revisit Your Mission

    The end of the year is a great time to reflect on where you spent your time and attention throughout the year, and see if those time commitments align with your mission and goals. Without setting dedicated time to pause and reflect, it's possible to spend far too long on tasks, projects and initiatives that don't align with your overall goals and mission. Here are three questions I ask myself:     

    1."What Would I Change?" – Here highlighting your woes helps you not to repeat them.

    2."What Would I Keep The Same?" – Bringing to the forefront of your mind your wins helps you ensure you have them in your new year.

    3."What Don't I Know Yet?" – Here listing your wants helps you be more likely to achieve them.

    I know for myself using my #Makeitso Journal and reviewing it helps me greatly with this task.

    Say "Thank You"

    I'm a big fan of saying "thank you" in general, and of finding new and personalized ways to make your thanks known. The end of the year is a great time to reflect on and make a list of everyone who has helped make your year what it was. A small gift, handwritten note, or even just a heartfelt email can help make your gratitude known to those who have had the greatest impact, and may have a great impact again in the new year.

    Check Your Circle

    I used to think it was a cliche whenever someone said something like, "You're the sum of the five people you spend the most time with." It sounded too simple, too cheesy, and too silly to me to actually work. That is until I got deliberate about who I gave my time to. Then I got intentional about finding ways to connect with people I could learn from every day. Then I got humble enough to ask for help from people who were further down the paths I wanted to travel. You run better when you join a running group. You write better when you spend time with other writers. You parent better when other wise parents encourage you. Surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to be better will actually make you better. Who are the five people you’ll lean on next year for growth? If I can help you in 2023 - let me know

    Organize Finances

    Many people see the New Year as an opportunity to set new intentions for saving money, reducing spending or otherwise revamping their mindset about money. But don't just log your money in and out the door. Make sure you pause to look a bit deeper for chances to optimize in the new year. 

    Check your billing statements for recurring expenses: software, services, subscriptions and automatic deductions. Are these all still necessary and properly sized to match your needs? Can any be reduced or cancelled in the coming year?

    Have you collected all of your expenses and possible deductions in preparation for tax season? Can you set up a system to track these in a more automated way? Our #Makeitso Platform has some great tools to help.

    What ways, if any, did you invest in yourself this year, whether through courses, coaching, masterminds, books, conferences, trainings or something else? 

    Review Your Calendar

    Many of us wish we had more hours in a day, but you may actually be able to find and create more time in the 24 hours that you have. The end of the year is a great time to do a calendar audit, to see how you've been spending your time and look for ways to optimize your schedule for productivity and free time. 

    In January I am beginning a 5 Week Leadership Course to help with Perspective, Purpose, Priorities, Planning and Performance. Consider signing up for it here

    Will all of this make the New Year – “perfect” – well I'm not sure, but I'm keeping an eye on my pace and my commitments and constantly trying to find that magical balance. If it exists at all, I'm slowly getting closer.

    Let us together be committed to making 2023 the year that we start living in a way today that will help you to thrive tomorrow. #makeitso


  • Year End Thank You

    As we wrap up 2022, I wanted to take a moment to list some of the Major Wins we have experienced this year at Phoenix Life Coaching Canada. 

    • We began our “You Can Make It So Podcast” on February 2, 2022 and were able to welcome 9 headline guests with 48 episodes under our belt now. If you missed our guest list - here they are

    Episode 48 - Million Dollar Influence : Guest: Gene Moran 

    Episode 47 - Lead with the Power of Truth, Justice & Purpose: Guest: Ron Carruci

    Episode 36 - Launching into Q4 - Guest: Alan Weiss

    Episode 33 - Decisions for Success: Guest: David Siegel 

    Episode 29 - Servant Leadership - Howard Behar

    Episode 28 - Make a Lot of Money, Help A Lot of People, Have a Lot of Fun - David Meltzer 

    Episode 27 - Becoming the Person You Can Not Imagine  - Norm Bacal 

    Episode 26 - Home is where the Storey Begins  - Tom Storey 

    Episode 25 - Leading to Greatness  - Jim Reid 

    • We started the #Makeitso Platform which now has a total of over 100 tools, articles, book reviews, E Books and other items available for clients.

    • We formulated an expansive “Full Service Coaching” package which helps our clients augment the assistance they need outside of one to one calls and ensures contact through weekly texts, encouraging message, direct access to Coach Frank, and unique offerings (like this newsletter).

    • We initiated a Facebook Page and created a private Facebook Group for interested Full Service Coaching Clients which includes a “Sunday Night Message” to set them up for the week (its is like an extra coaching session).

    • Inaugurated our 22 Book for 2022 which allowed us to highlight (and share copies) of these book.

    • Held 5 Group Coaching and Mastermind Sessions (repeats are on the #Makeitso Platform).

    • We published our #Makeitso Journal and ensured every client has a regular copy for use.

    • We expanded our Social Media presence with 40 Blog posts this year, and daily Twitter, Instagram and Facebook posts. We also expanded our presence on Linkedin (with almost 600 connections) and also have a Linktree profile to ensure easy access for all.

    • We saw our weekly E Newsletter surpass “open rates” for our industry standard and now have close to 200 subscribers.

    • Published a book “Made for Monday” - copies available in early 2023!

    • Created bespoke Media Services for clients operating a business and for Solopreneurs.

    • Participated in two off site conferences and engagements including at the Collision Conference and was also part of several activities with the Institute of Coaching at Harvard.

    But the best part of 2022 - the biggest win - was seeing our clients  - 16 one to one coaching individuals and on-going direct consulting to 6 businesses - THRIVE - with so many not only achieving their “rally cry”, but surpassing revenue expectations, crushing personal goals, hiting personal milestones, gaining dramatic vision about the next steps, and tackling habits toward victory. As we begin 2023, more than ever - we are committed to aide you to “live in a way today that will help you to thrive tomorrow.”

    May 2023 be a year of breakthrough for you as you dive deeper. Get in touch with us 

    Alright - let’s get after it - let’s #Makeitso

    Frank


  • 22 Books for 2022

    I love lists, especially “best of” lists at the end of the year. If you share your best moments list, best restaurants for queso list, or best trails for a run list, I’m so there.

    That’s why this week  I’m sharing the 22 Books for 2022 

    They range from money to creativity. No matter the genre, each of these books taught me something that made 2022 a little better.

    Just to be clear - I receive no affiliate income from any of the books or authors – I just enjoyed the books a great deal. I hope you find these suggestions helpful.

    It’s a small way of me saying thanks to you for being a part of the Phoenix community and our #Makeitso movement.

    Make sure to add these books to your reading list, and get ready for - yep you guessed it - 23 Books for 2023 - it begins on January 1st.

    Let's get after it #makeitso


  • Don't Panic! (Oh and Robert Di Niro??)

    So recently I spend a few days in Montreal. Those of you who follow me on Instagram or Twitter know all about it. I went to connect with business, spend time with a friend, and well, rest a little too. I loved what I was able to do in Montreal and so grateful. Gratitude is a pretty amazing thing. In fact, I talk about it in Episode 43 of the You Can Make It So Podcast as part of a feature on my new book Made for Mondays: Turning Habits, Gratitude and Clarity into Thriving which was just released – get on the list to get one here

    The last few weeks have really made me think about gratitude a great deal. I am blessed! The last few years have been challenging. From the pandemic to pivots in life, it has been a ride for sure for all of us. Along with me for the ride has not only been my family and friends, but some amazing clients I have the true privilege to coach and serve as a trusted advisor to.

    I work with some accomplished executives, entrepreneurs, and also accompany some tremendous guys all who want to live in a way today that will help them thrive tomorrow. Tremendous fellows one and all. I walk away from every call humbled not only by their trust and confidence, but their self determination to grow and #makeitso.

    But this past week something happened during one of my calls that caught me a little off guard. One of them said to me “do you know you look a lot like Robert DiNiro?” At first, being a man in my early 50”s, I wondered how I now resembled a man who is 79 years old! Now don't get me wrong, I was honoured and humbled. Mr DiNiro is an accomplished actor and someone on my bucket list to meet one day. But at first, it was a little shocking, then I got pondering.

    Let’s set the context – here is a link to a 2018 CNN Broadcast in which Robert DiNiro’s business interests are discussed a little. (maybe watch it and then return to the Blog… or you can keep reading).  I had seen the video referenced during my earlier mentioned visit in Montreal (something this client did not know).

    If you watched the video, (told you you should have), you know the broadcast speaks of the success of Mr DiNiro’s business interest in Nobu Restaurant and Hotels (one of which is coming to Toronto). But here is what it also mentioned – that measured growth, trusted friendships, and openness to learning at every curve, are the ingredients to the recipe of success which his enterprise has experienced.

    As we come to the end of 2022, this time of year tends to bring a natural look toward stalled projects and quarterly and annual goals that missed the mark and wonderment about where they got stuck. It also tends to inspire a certain amount of concern when we think of how big and daunting a project that we want to get done by end year is. Or we might even get a little “anxious” about unfinished projects, goals or tasks around this time of year? Maybe you even feel “behind” in what you set out to make happen in 2022.

    So, as a guy who looks like Robert DiNiro (so I am told), can I offer some advice – go back to the recipe book in the last days of 2022 and focus on measured growth, trusted friendships, openness to learning. Don’t panic, scramble or fret… but focus….

    Focus on …. staying steady with your habits, keep sincere with your wins, woes and wants and ensure that tomorrow begins the night before.

    Focus on …. taking time for family and friends – embrace the opportunities of the season don’t run away to ‘get one last thing done”   (there will always be "one last thing".... but not always a season). 

    Focus on …. reviewing, reflecting and renewing. If you missed a goal or objective – ask why and learn from it. 2023 will be here soon and you can start anew and fresh.

    December, which begins tomorrow, is the time when people start thinking of their goals and review their habits —but if you are someone who wants to thrive, you can’t take the same approach as everyone else. You can’t just make a list, check it twice, and figure out if you have been naughty or nice. Instead, it becomes about envisioning and painting that picture, setting that rally cry and performing at your very best. Check out this week’s episode of the You Can Make It So Podcast for more on this

    Next month I am going to begin discussing a 5 week Leadership Challenge I will be making available starting in January. More details next week but you can sign up here. It will be about Perspective , Purpose , Priorities, Plans and Performance - all critical to thriving.

    Until then, we will let the real Robert DiNiro speak –“Time goes on. So whatever you're going to do, do it. Do it now. Don't wait.”  Go ahead, focus on measured growth, trusted friendships, openness to learning. Don’t panic, scramble or fret… but focus in these closing days of 2022….

    #makeitso


  • Been there …. Don’t Lose Your Grip

    Excerpt of Chapter Four MADE FOR MONDAYS 

    A story is told about a man who got into the back seat of a cab from the airport and after giving the driver the location he wanted to be taken to he sat back - about 5 minutes into the ride he wanted to ask the driver how much longer and so he gently leaned over and touched the driver on the shoulder causing the driver to become so startled that he lost control of the car almost hitting a glass store front window. The driver turned around and asked the passenger “are you ok?” “Yes,” the passenger replied - “I am sorry I startled you - just wanted to ask you a question”. The driver said, “no I am sorry. You scared the living day light out of me - I am not use to someone in the back seat touching me - you see this is my first day driving cab - for the past 25 years I have been driving a hearse.”

     

    Life startles us at times - things shake us up a bit. Debt, the past, regret, emotion, guilt, dead in job, pain, something you can’t make better all of these and more suck the joy and life right out of you. So how do we deal with that?  Well I would like to share 4 ways

    1. Never give into the Self Pity.

    2. Don’t dwell on “ if onlys” or “what could have beens”:

    3. Don’t settle for Less .... but, DON’T forgot the rest.

    4.  Get ready for Transition from explosion to experience

    1. Never give into the Self Pity.

    At times when we hear about bad news, about serious statistics, about depressing facts we begin to give into self pity - woe is me ! Woe is our society ! Where is it all going to end ? What will become of our world ? Its finished ! Its done ! Its all over !  - Sound familiar ?

    Once we begin to give into self pity, its difficult to stop it and to recover a sense of thankfulness for all the positive things going on our behalf.

    2. Don’t dwell on “ if onlys” or “what could have beens”:

     

    The one trait every successful person shares?

    It's not wealth.

    It's not intelligence.

    It's not vision.

    It's bravery.

    Regrets and second guesses won’t change the past, but the future can be changed by Bravery. Ponder the good things that happen to you. Rarely is every area of your life rotten at the same time. Focus on the positive things and learn from the current trial.

    A young boy in a school walked around the school yard one day all sad, depressed and tired looking. Teacher went up to him and asked what was wrong ? He replied: “ I failed my math test” “That’s great”  The teacher replied. He looked at me with shock in his face and said ”what do you mean ?” “Well”, the teacher said “ Now you can start over again and the only thing you can do is improve !”

     

    ▸       Failure does not mean you are a failure, it means you have not succeeded.

    ▸       Failure does not mean you have not accomplished anything, it means you have learned something.

    ▸       Failure does not mean you are a fool, it means you have a lot of faith.

    ▸       Failure does not mean you have been disgraced, it means you were willing to try.

    ▸       Failure does not mean you don’t have it, but rather you do it in a different way.

    ▸       Failure does not mean you are inferior, it means you are not perfect.

    ▸       Failure does not mean you wasted your life, it means you have reason to start again.

    ▸       Failure does not mean you should give up, it means you must try harder.

    ▸       Failure does not mean you’ll never make it, it means it will take you longer.

    ▸       Failure does not mean that God has abandoned you, it means God has a better way for you.

    Sometimes in life we fall down in order to see something down there we needed to pick up in order to succeed.

    If we believe this, then a stumble, a fall, a set back, a moment of downturn or concern will not be permanent in our lives, but rather will be momentary

    3. Don’t settle for Less .... but, DON’T forgot the rest.

    Nelson Mandela said it best: “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” 

    You cannot live a small life and a full life. When you settle for less:

    YOU’LL NEVER FEEL FULFILLED

    When you play it safe, you meet your need for certainty – but you won’t create the connections your heart and soul need. You won’t find significance. You won’t fulfill your need for personal growth. Ultimately, you won’t feel fulfilled in life.

    YOU WON’T EXPERIENCE LIFE

    Fear of failure keeps us from going after our dream jobs. It makes us avoid heartbreak by staying in unhealthy relationships. It prevents us from getting out of our comfort zones. It keeps us from experiencing all that life has to offer – every emotion – including disappointment and joyful moments.

    YOU’LL HAVE REGRETS

    When you look back on your life, you won’t be glad you settled for less. Right now, you’d probably tell your younger self, “Don’t settle for less in a relationship. Go after that job you want. Dream big.” Don’t wait until you’re old and gray to never settle for less – start now.

    But where does the drive to never settle come from? And can you learn how to never settle for less? Well, DON’T forgot the rest.

    This means that we going looking. That we do not come fixated on what we believe our destiny is but we trust in Grace that we have been equipped for the moment that we need to succeed.

    Let me give you a practical example. Have you ever been in a situation when a certain person just seemed liked the exact individual you needed.

    Maybe it was a technician who had the tools and experience to fix something

    Maybe it was a doctor, police officer, fire fighter who was there at the moment you needed them most

    Maybe it was a friend who knew exactly what to say

    Maybe it was a boss who was understanding where someone before might not have been

    I mean the right person in the right moment for the right purpose

    I believe we are prepared to receive them, but we are also being prepared to be them for others. When we settle for less we loose those moments and so we don’t forget the rest – we keep learning, keep loving, keep giving, keep growing and the moment will come when we might want to loose our grip but we don’t and as a result we a stronger to help ourselves and others

    4.  Get ready for Transition from explosion to experience

    Transitions are the minuscule but vital moments that happen after completing one task and moving onto another. We’ve all been there in the seconds after one task is complete, and it’s time to move onto something new. What typically happens in these crucial moments?

    Transitions are often the breeding ground for procrastination.

    No matter how good we are at tricking our brain into getting stuff done, transition moments are the times when most people distract themselves with minor tasks or the easiest items on their “to do” list.

    There is no greater example of this than transition to growth

    In my 25 years of coaching, consulting and guiding others here is what I have learned whether you are a student or a CEO – you don’t like change. Sure we want to see change, we want to be credited with change, we wanted to have the benefits of change in the areas of our life where we will proposer – BUT WE DO NOT LIKE CHANGE. We might like variety, but not change.

    CHANGE means a transition from what we are comfortable with towards something else and it takes time, tasks and tenacity to see that happen in our lives.

    But to Get ready for Transition from explosion to experience

    1. Be “IN THE NOW”

    When making a big life change, it’s easy to get caught up in the stress of what the future will hold. For instance, taking a new job or going back to school can feel overwhelming – especially when thinking about everything it may entail – from the steep learning curve and new expectations, to making a positive impression on your new colleagues.

    Rather than spending energy ruminating about the past or projecting your fears about the future, try to focus on where you are now. If you can accept where you are and take things step by step as they come, the overwhelming feeling will dissolve. In fact, you might even find that you are excited by the challenge awaiting you.

    2. Think “Opportunity”

    This period of change, however daunting it may seem, can be looked at as a wonderful opportunity.  When everything seems to be up in the air and your old comfort-patterns are interrupted, you’re actually most malleable to change.  Try to cultivate a positive outlook.  Try to see opportunities for growth.  Consider how to “make-over” your life and build new habits and patterns.  This change could actually present a unique opportunity to re-create yourself!

    3. Have Realistic Timeframes And Expectations

    While transitions can absolutely be great opportunities for growth and opportunity, it’s also important to give yourself reasonable expectations.  Don’t expect that you’re going to have a full social circle the first month in a new town.  Don’t expect to feel fully confident in your new job the first week.  Be patient.  Simply try to make progress each day.

    Remember in every transition – you are much stronger than you think!

    For an overview of the book - check out this Podcast Episode

    If you wish to get on the list to purchase one drop us a line to get details

    #makeitso


  • Made for Monday

    As Canadians we do love our four seasons and the marvels of colour and diversity of experience which they bring. While we don’t always agree on which season of the year we like best, one thing that a lot of people talk about – and even agree on - is how they don’t like Mondays!

    For some it means returning to a place of work they do not enjoy. For some it means returning to a school they find difficult. For some it means leaving time with family, for others it even means travel to work – even early morning bus rides to get to work daily. Even for those who are retired, they often say they don’t like Mondays, because the world is noisier, the pace faster and the memories of what was at time greater

    There is no doubt that for most – Friday would get more votes on favorite day of the week then Monday. But Thriving requires us to move you from the Mundane into Mondays!

    We often see Monday as Mundae when we look at what needs to be done, accomplished or finished as tasks that surround us, or give values only to our objectives or goals.  That mundane feeling arises when we tend to say “I have to….. (Finish, complete, do, go or  encounter)”. But being Made for Monday begins when we start off with:  “ I get to … (Finish, complete, do, go or  encounter)”.   It’s a choice!

    How do we discern that? Well it often begins with a question: 

    The question may come in the form of a coworker who needs guidance.

    The question may come in the form a person who need the way in traffic.

    The question may come in the form a family member who just needs some space after a long day.

    The question may come in the form of fellow student who just does not know the path to success.

    The question may come in the form of a neighbor who is new and wonders where a life giving community might be.

    This is why I have written a new book called Made for Mondays: Turning Habits, Gratitude and Clairity into Thriving. 

    The book is about giving you the tools to turn your habits, your spirit of gratitude and your daily clairity into methods of not only achieving your objectives, but adding value to others and thriving as a result. The release date is November 27, 2022

    If you wish to get on the list to purchase one drop us a line to get details

    For an overview of the book check out this Podcast Episode

    Let's get after it #makeitso